Birds of a Feather

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Birds of a Feather

By: Dr. C.G Mcfadden

You’ve heard the saying before: Birds of a feather flock together. It’s meant to explain why people of similar interests, values, or mindsets tend to gather in the same circles. But when it comes to bullies, this flocking behavior takes on a darker, more parasitic form.

Bullies—whether they operate in a schoolyard, a workplace, a martial arts community, or behind the glow of a phone screen—rarely stand alone. The lone wolf image they sometimes try to project. That’s smoke and mirrors. They thrive in numbers, in whispers, in digital group chats where their courage is measured not by their actions but by the echo chamber of approval, they get from others just like them.

The truth is, most bullies can’t do much on their own. Their venom is diluted without the validation of their “flock.” The sarcastic comment? It lands flat without an audience. The rumor? It dies without someone to carry it. Even the most aggressive attack loses its sting when no one is there to nod, smirk, or type, “Good one.”

This is because bullying—at its core—isn’t about strength. It’s about insecurity seeking safety in numbers. Like birds in a storm, bullies huddle together for warmth, not because they care for each other, but because they’re terrified of the cold truth that without their peers, they are powerless.

Their shared goal is simple: to belong to something that makes them feel bigger than they are. They pat each other on the back, not out of genuine respect, but out of mutual need—because if one leaves the flock, the rest know the spotlight could turn on them next. In these toxic alliances, loyalty isn’t built on trust or honor—it’s built on fear and convenience.

They hide in groups because a group gives them plausible deniability:

  • “It wasn’t just me saying it.”

  • “We all saw it that way.”

  • “It’s just a joke, lighten up.”

But take away the chorus, and most bullies are left stammering. They can’t sing their cruel songs alone; their voices are too shaky without backup.

And here’s the irony: the same people they tear down are often stronger as individuals than the entire flock combined. True strength doesn’t need an audience. It doesn’t need applause. It stands alone when necessary, without fear of silence.

The next time you encounter bullies—online or in person—watch for the patterns. You’ll see them circle in the sky before diving in, always in pairs or packs. They need each other, because deep down, they know they can’t soar alone.

In the end, they’re just birds of a feather—loud in flocks, but powerless in solitude.

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